Family Vacation: RV Style!

Mamas, we’re going on vacation: RV style! That’s right, Kairo, David and I (oh, and Ziggy) are heading to the beach for a couple of days. We are so excited! Kairo has never been before so I can’t wait to see his reaction to the sand and ocean.

It might seem unusual to many that David and I aren’t together, yet we’re going on a vacation, but we have a vision for the type of family we want. We’re working on becoming true friends which will strengthen our co-parenting relationship. My vision for our family is to be able to go on vacations together even after/if we each have our own separate families. We’ll be a blended family in love and we have Kairo to thank for that. I don’t believe there needs to be hostility between parents after separation, and while it’s taken me a while to get to this point, forgiveness and love truly does heal all. Kairo deserves to see his parents happy and fun around each other. He deserves two healed parents. But most importantly he deserves to be raised in an environment of love and respect. It’s our responsibility to give that to him.

Now that I got that out the way, you’re next question is probably why an RV?! First, I’ve been interested in getting into camping and I feel like this was a good way to ease myself in. I’m not sleeping outside in a tent, but it’s definitely not a hotel room. An RV is the perfect in-between. I’m also a very adventurous person and I love trying new things. Now that I have a family of my own, I get to drag them along for all my shenanigans. I always have someone to do things with (thanks Kairo!).

Let me tell you, packing for this trip has been really hard. Packing for yourself and a toddler for multiple nights is already a challenge. Throw in Ziggy’s necessities, our meals, and entertainment for each of us and my mind is ready to explode. Trying to think of everything we will need is damn near impossible, but that’s what I was doing. Here’s a list of reasons why I was stressed:

-       I’m taking an RV trip with a toddler

-       I’m taking an RV trip with a puppy

-       I’m taking an RV trip!!!

-       I hadn’t packed our clothes yet (though laundry was done)

-       I had food to cook to make our meals easier on the go.

-       I had to think about what we would need 1000X over just to make sure I had everything.

-       We were planning to pack the car up at night and leave early in the morning, but it kept getting later and things still weren’t done.

I was really stressing myself out about how things weren’t going as I had planned (typical Kayla…literally ask any of my friends from middle school on. I don’t do good when things aren’t going my way…..I’m working on it yall) until David brought me back to Earth. Anyone who knows us is aware that our personalities are complete opposites. When I’m wound up and stressed, he’s always mellow and calm. He’s already given me the “It’s ok not to be perfect. It’s the imperfection that will make this trip perfect.” Talk, which I’m sure he’ll need to do 50 more times throughout our trip. Grateful to have him in this moment, but also as a co-parent. I need him to tell me to relax.

One of the steps in healing is to notice the programs we have running that aren’t necessarily ours. One that I’m trying to reprogram is the idea that I don’t have enough time or I have to rush to do things. This is definitely a generational belief that I picked up on and took on as truth. Another belief I have is that things need to be done perfectly in order to be recognized. Again, this is something I learned as a child and am breaking as an adult. Affirmations have been helping me with this, but reprogramming or reparenting is not always a quick process. My unconscious programs often come out in moments like this.

So here I am at 3am trying to pack the last few things as we prepare to head out. Telling myself that things will play out in Divine order and I honestly have no control over anything. I think it’s so funny how humans, myself particularly, are under the illusion that we have any control. Well, there are things we can control, but there is so much more that we can’t. I’m learning to allow and let go, realizing that everything always happens as it should. There is no rush.

While things started out a little bumpy, I have plenty of time to redeem it. We’ll get there when we get there and we’ll do what we do. I’m releasing all expectations and allowing God to wow me through this trip. I’m grateful to be experiencing this with my family and I love that we’re making memories together.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog post recapping our trip.

Until then,

Stay ViKtorious, Mama!