Lessons From My Toddler- Part 1

If you’ve been following the blog for a while, you know that I often reflect on the things I learn from my son. I credit him as one of the most influential teachers in my life. He’s taught me all types of things like the importance of slowing down, how to be more open to new things, and so forth. The most recent thing I learned from him is to not let my fear run my life.

Kairo really enjoys going to the park (what toddler doesn’t?). I took him there one morning on our walk, and he has asked to go every morning since. Most days I oblige and yesterday was one of them. He’s getting really adventurous and doesn’t need me to climb up with him anymore. Now I get to watch from the side, and step in only when he asks for my help.

I love when we get to the park and there are other children there. For one thing, it challenges me to be more outgoing and talk to the parent. But it also organically allows Kairo to have some social interaction with humans his size/age. I love watching Kairo make new friends because he’s so good at it. He sees someone he wants to play with and without hesitation, goes right up to them. He doesn’t have his mind talking him out of it and he doesn’t need validation. His comfort with himself and confidence is something I’ve also been trying to learn from.

Anyway, yesterday there were 2 other little children at the park. At first Kairo was playing to himself, but after he saw how much fun they were having, he wanted to get in on it. They played together for a long time. Running up and down the steps. Going down the slide. Crawling through the tunnels. They played so well together that the mom and I were able to have a full conversation. It was all fun and games….until it wasn’t.

I heard Kairo crying and saw Ziggy perk up. I looked over and saw the little boy wearing his Spiderman hood over his face. Naturally, it frightened Kairo because he had never seen anything like that before. The boy wasn’t trying to scare him. It was quite the opposite. He was trying to show Kairo his really cool Spiderman sweatshirt, but Kairo didn’t think it was so cool. I went over to pick him up and reassure him that he was safe.

After that he didn’t want to play anymore and I didn’t pressure him. We prepared to leave as the other kids prepared to stay. As I was buckling him into the stroller, the little boy who had scared him came over and gave him a hug and a kiss. He was trying to make Kairo feel better and reassuring him that they were still friends. The little boy’s mother then said something that really stuck with me: “Kairo, you were so brave”. Kairo went from being terrified of the boy and the hood to accepting a hug from him. He didn’t allow his fear to ruin his entire experience. He was brave.

How often do we hold onto our (sometimes irrational) fears? We allow them to totally rule our lives. I know for me, I’ve consistently allowed my fear of being forgotten to influence all of my relationships. It prevents me from forming connection. We all have fears and our fear may not be the same as someone else’s, but we all have them. And no one’s fear should be downplayed.

For the next week or so, can we challenge ourselves to overcome a fear? For me, that’ll look like being vulnerable with a friend to help deepen the connection. I don’t know what it will look like for you, but I encourage you to try. Allow Kairo’s bravery to inspire you as it has me. We don’t have to let our fear dictate our lives, because as my therapist puts it, fears are just fake evidence appearing real anyway.

Until next time,

Stay ViKtorious, mama!