From Fearful to Faithful
Hey mama,
My son turned 4 a few days ago and I’ve found myself in a time of deep reflection and rebirth. I’ve noticed that each year, as his birthday approaches, I experience an energy similar to pregnancy. During this time, I’m aware of the ideas, visions, shifts, or dreams growing within me. I have the awareness of things I am to birth into the world, but I have to keep them internal as I nurture them a little longer. After his birthday, I move into a space where the ideas, visions, shifts, or dreams are clear but they’re like a newborn baby. I have to keep it close and not share it with the world yet. As the year goes on, Kairo and the ideas, visions, shifts, or dreams evolve alongside each other, and I’m tasked with putting effort towards their growth.
I never realized the cycle that takes place within me around Kairo’s birthday until recently. And it’s interesting because this rebirth energy triggered a lot of fear. Just as an expectant mother may experience fear about the process or the unknown, I was afraid of all that was required of me as I step into the person that this rebirth and new year is calling me to be. He and I went on a vacation for his birthday, and it was the first time I did it alone. From the airplane ride to the many activities we engaged in at our destination; it was just me and him. For the past 4 years I had always cushioned our trips by brining another family member along, but the life that is clearly calling me is requiring me to step fully into my independence as his mother. I cannot wait for others to be available. I cannot wait for others to tag along. I cannot wait for others to give me permission. I cannot wait for others to come back and save me. What is in my future is going to require me to have courage and be confident in my ability to mother Kairo alone.
Yall, I’m being fully transparent. Many of you know, I am in a co-parenting relationship so I get to share the responsibilities of being Kairo’s parent. It’s a beautiful arrangement. BUT, I was living paralyzed by the reality of being a single mother. How can I live a nomadic life alone with my son? How can I worldschool him alone? How can I do any of this alone? Isn’t it funny how we feel so alone in our journey despite all of the physical and spiritual support we undoubtably have? I had nightmares leading up to our flight out of Baltimore. I shared my fears with anyone who would listen. And as I voiced them, I noticed their illegitimacy. My fears were so extreme and very unlikely, yet they crippled me. And while this was true, I also knew that I couldn’t allow my fears to keep me from living the life God intends.
So, do you know what I did instead? I felt the fear and did it anyway! I believe this is the only way to move past fear. We have to take baby steps in the face of it. We have to feel it in our body and breathe through it. We have to profess our faith over it. We have to access our strength in God. We have to feel the fear and do it anyway. Because at the end of the day, our fears are just fake evidence appearing real. Our mind is so powerful! It can create scenarios that keep us complacent and for most people they do. We have to take back control over our mind, and not allow our minds to control us.
Does this mean I wasn’t scared while away? I deffinitely had my moments! But I kept taking those baby steps to get past it. And now, I can say I did it and can do it again.
You have a calling over your life. You are being asked to grow into something new. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary. But it’s necessary and you can do it.
Feel the fear and do it anyway, mama. I believe in you!
RESOURCES FOR MOVING THROUGH FEAR:
SEE THE FEAR:
When you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear, take some time to breathe. Clear your mind of the stories you’ve been telling yourself and ask God to see the situation clearly. Where are you in need of more faith?
If you find it difficult to quiet the mind and be present, start with this 10-minute Tea Ritual. It’s a beautiful way to get you out of your mind and into your body. It returns you to the present moment temporarily relieving you of anxiety and depression. In the moment you can see and hear clearly. In the moment you can take inspired action. In the moment you are free.
Do this meditation and see if you can see your fear more clearly and find baby steps past it.
TALK TO THE FEAR
Affirmations activate the power within us to attract that which we are affirming. In other words, they help us embody beliefs rooted in truth. By ridding us of our negative and self-hindering beliefs, affirmations allow us to see ourselves in Divine glory. It's normal to experience internal resistance as you begin working with an affirmation. Change is uncomfortable. Affirmations are trying to reprogram or rewrite the stories and beliefs you’ve been telling yourself for months/years/lifetimes. Recognize this resistance as being part of the process and remove any judgement. Despite the discomfort, never doubt the power of affirmative words.
There are many ways to work with affirmations, but my favorite is to recite them out loud multiple times consistently. You might prefer to write them down, or listen to a recording of yourself saying them. Practice with each affirmation until you notice a shift in your beliefs. This could take weeks, months, or years. There is no rush.
However, you choose to work with them, know that affirmations are not magical one-time-use sentences that will make everything better. You have to want a shift to occur and be willing to do the work. With repetition, conviction, and trust, you’ll find that these affirmations soon become your truth. Below are some affirmations to help you shift out of fear.
MOVE PAST THE FEAR
Many of us can relate to feeling paralyzed by fear. One way to overcome this in the moment, is to invite in some form of movement. Fear is an emotion, and emotions are just energy in motion. They need somewhere to go. Move your body to create space for them. You might shake your body, dance, stand in super woman pose, jump up and down, or run around. Whatever feels good to you.
Yoga and Bellydance fitness can be valuable tools for long-term management of fear and other tough emotions. Let’s schedule a regular cadence of movement. I’ll come to you and offer practices to help you come back into your power and find more peace.
*virtual sessions are also available*
